events

Today was my dear James' 40th birthday! WooHoo! His parents and sister surprised him for lunch. He made things difficult for me to coordinate everything until I finally told him, "You have to work with me here!" Of course, that made him suspect something was happening. It was nice seeing them.

For dinner James picked up Jim and we had dinner out with the kids, just simple burgers and such. I gave James his birthday gift, an mp3 player. "What is that?" he asked with a puzzled look on his face. I had to explain that it was the little music storage device that he wanted to plug into the stereo in his truck. He decided he liked it then. lol We took some fun pictures with the chicken. I'll have to put that up later. (I have days of pictures to post, don't I?)

So, the freakiest part of the evening...We were back home and I was sitting here at my desk when I heard a loud hissing coming from my computer! I kinda scooted back some and asked, "What is that?!" When it did it again James said, "I don't know but I'd get away from there if I were you. It sounds like a snake!!!" Panic set in and I was beginning to stumble away from the area when I look down and see a cat under my desk. When I stood up and walked around the desk I found another cat there looking under the desk....Both male cats and preparing for a fight. It seriously sounded like a snake was hiding behind my computer or something. FREAKY!!! I told Jen to get those cats OUT of my house, NOW!!! Gee, can't a mom relax in the evening?

processing...

You know how sometimes you click on a web page and instead of getting a page pop up you get the little twirly thing saying processing... And it just sits there spinning and nothing seems to be moving? That's me right now.

My postings may be infrequent for a little while. I'm finding myself in need of journal writing (ie, random thoughts jotted on paper) and I find it difficult to do both at the same time. Or maybe I just find it hard to blog when I'm in need of journal writing??? I just need to step back for a little bit and refocus myself so I can be a better me. I'm still here. :) I'm still TRYING to take pictures everyday. I have some I need to add to the picture of the day album. And I am pretty certain that I will be posting about spring break and belt testing next month. :)

forgiveness

Jennifer posed the question to me. How do you forgive knowing you can never forget? Is it true forgiveness? Or can I forgive enough to have peace within myself but never trust the one who caused the pain? How can you truly forgive someone who has hurt the ones you love most?

How does a mother answer these questions for her child when she is struggling herself?

family valentine's day

I usually don't do anything big for Valentine's Day. It's a fun holiday but more of a day to show appreciation for each other than anything. However, with the family in serious upheavel right now I decided on the spur of the moment to do something fun for dinner. And boy, did we have fun! I bought a mylar "I love you" heart balloon along with cookies, strawberries, chocolate and a special valentine candy for each person. When Jared and Jeff got home from school I gave them red, white, and pink sheets of paper and they went to work punching out mini hearts for confetti and cutting out some bigger hearts. I tied the balloon to a basket I keep on the table. I set the table with white plates. We had yummy valentine treats (cookies, candy, and chocolate covered strawberries) set out along with dinner. I cooked one of my favorite meals for dinner that went along with the red/white theme. It doesn't have a name but basicly it is a spicy cajun type sausage sliced up and cooked into a tomato based gravy then served over rice. Yummy! Every time I cook it I get people popping out of the woodwork to find what is cooking because it smells sooo good. Anyway, it was so much fun we might just make it a habit. (grin)


On a more serious note. My fibromyalgia is rearing it's ugly head. I usually keep it in check by keeping to a regular sleep schedule. However with high stress and the inability to sleep well it has gotten pretty bad. I find it difficult even to get up out of a chair because I am just so sore! Monday night was the last time I have slept a full night. Tuesday night I slept four hours. I was up at 4:30 Wednesday getting ready to sign on for work. I think I managed to sleep about two hours last night and Wednesday night. So that makes 4 days with a grand total of 8 hours of sleep. (I think that's what it calculates to be. But then, I feel half dead so I may be off a little.) Anyway, not good for controling fms.

Well, it's raining, it's pouring, and the 'ol man' is snoring. I think I'd best lay my head in the bed, and not get up until morning. ha ha I'll post my valentine picture of the day later this morning.

It's amazing how when you are at your lowest, at the darkest time, something can shine through and give you courage. Jeff was given a writing assignment at school earlier this week to write about someone he cared about the most. His teacher noted his as "nicest mom story". I needed this today. What a blessing it is to me to have the chance of being his mommy. Following is Jeffrey's writing assignment...

My Mom

I love my mom. She is very nice. I admire her more than any one on earth!

My mom works hard. She's always working. She cooks, cleans, washes clothes and dishes. My mom is the greatest mom ever. She brings me to school. She cares alot for me and helps me with my homework and Webkinz. I could not love her more if I tried.

I know I get mad at her but I will always love her! There is no one like her!

Thank you, Jesus, for entrusting me with such a precious treasure.

beautiful day

We are having some absolutely gorgeous weather right now so we spent some time at the park yesterday. It was Jazee's first picnic at the park. James took her for a walk around the track. He showed her the trees and touched her hand to the bark. (She didn't like that too much.) Her eyes were big and curious about the entire experience. She was happy until she wanted a bottle and we realized all we had were cold bottles and no way to warm one. She complained about that.

After we had our fill of playing at the park, we decided to go for a drive and ended up stopping several friend's homes. Then we stopped at the mall. I've been out of my lavender pillow mist so I just *had to get some. I love that stuff. It makes me soooo relaxed and ready to go right to sleep.

Jaz again was curious about the sights and sounds. She was taking everything in. I love that. But then, I've always loved sharing new experiences with my chil'ens.

So today we have another beautiful, spring-ish day and I'm wanting to get back out - somewhere. I can't, though. Duty calls.

one little detail

It is amazing how one minor detail can have such an impact on an entire day. Take the flat tire I found on my car last night, for instance. It's a small thing overall. We will all find we have a flat tire now and then. It's just...well...not too fun when you find it when you are walking out to the car to go to, say, an important class or something. Luckily, last night we had the opportunity to go to the later adult class once James got home so it all worked out. This morning...well, this just didn't go so smoothly this morning. Jim was asked to change the tire. He was up all night so what difference did it make to spend a few minutes on something that needed to be done, right? Evidently a big difference. It never got done. I managed to get Jeff on his bus. The one that feels like you should still have a few more hours of sleep instead of catching an early morning school bus. Somehow or 'nother, Jared managed to miss his later bus. No way to get him to school. I tried to get Jim, now asleep, to change the tire so I could bring Jared to school. No luck. Hours later Jared felt bad for me because I was not very happy about Jim so my scrawny 11yo goes out there, gets the spare out of the trunk, and was working on getting the jack under the car when I discovered what he was doing. Jared is one of the sweetest, giving kids there ever were. Jim, on the other hand, I am still not happy with. Don't let me get started on that right now.

So, just one little detail. It snowballed. I had other stresses build up on top of it. James had other stresses build up all day. Come evening time we were both pretty stressed out over all the, yes, stresses, that had build up.....And the two combusted on contact this evening. WooWhee Where are the Nomex suits???

It was short-lived, thank goodness. :)

wow!

Following is a picture from Jared and Jeff's first testing and promotion almost two years ago (this summer). Looking at our new pictures I noticed just how tall these boys are getting. I decided to look up these pictures. Jared is starting to look so grown-up.

senior red belts! WooHoo!

The lessons are learned. The practice is over. The uniforms are washed to sparkling white, starched, and ready for testing!

It's time! Those are two boys are very excited to show their stuff!

Jeffrey was just so excited to get that belt in his hands! He kept staring at it. He is too cute sometimes.

It's on and he is one proud little boy, as he deserves to be.

Jared was commended for his perserverence and great attitude.

He gets his belt tied on by his instructor.

And our picture of the day! I'm so proud of my boys! Two more months... Black belts, here we come!

testings

I guess you can say yesterday was a testing of charactor. It was an eventful day to say the least.

It all began at 4am. Some noise woke me up and within seconds I could hear James shouting, "GET AWAY FROM MY TRUCK! GET AWAY FROM MY TRUCK!" My first thoughts were, "Oh my, Jim must be on one of his rants." Then I hear James shouting, "GET AWAY FROM IT! GET AWAY FROM IT!" Puzzled, I walk to the front door to see what is going on and find a scene of chaos. James and Jim are shouting at each other and behind them I see a big, bright fire burning near the driveway and another, smaller fire a few feet away from the truck. There was such a sense of panic in the atmosphere that my instict was to call for help and I was starting to dial 911 when James saw me and started shouting for me to call.

THAT conversation, my friends, I never want to be tortured by being forced to hear. All I can say is I admire all 911 operators for being able to calm and decipher the words of panicked callers. While on the phone I looked out the door again and realized it was Jim's motorcycle! By then everyone was awake and looking out the front window so I made them all go the back of the house just in case the gas tank exploded. Somehow in all the chaos James yanked the water hose and broke a water line so we were rushing to get the water turned off to save the water well pump.

Jim was in shock so dealing with him, calming him down, was my next objective. Once I learned details of what happened I wanted to cringe at what could have been. His pants are scorched and the hair on his leg is singed.

He worked so hard for that bike. He saved money to pay cash for it. It was his biggest possession, you know? He's heartbroken over it. It's hard and my heart goes out to him but, on the other hand, it is an experience that gives him an opportunity to build his character. We've been blessed. He's been blessed. I thank and praise God for keeping a merciful hand on him.


before


and after












The other big event actually started a week ago. TaeKwonDo belt testing was last Friday. Jeff passed and got his Senior Red belt on Tuesday. Jared was having an off day and passed everything but breaking boards. We found later that he had a problem with his technique. We attended classes Thursday, Friday, and again yesterday in preparation for his re-test yesterday. Just let me say that Jared has had an awesome attitude about the whole thing. He has not gotten mad or frustrated one time. He didn't complain when I suggested attending an extra class to work on technique. I am so, so proud of him. So, yesterday after the Big Fire event and a TKD class we found a place with some good eats and showed up for his retest. They asked him to spar another kid for *his testing. Breaking boards was the very last testing event. He set up his board for his kick...and busted thru the first attempt! He set up the board for his elbow smash...and busted thru the first attempt! I was so excited! He'll get his Sr Red belt on Tuesday and I'll post pictures of both of them after that.